Chorus (Tony P.)

For all the stress and pain I done settled for/
Like skip all of the fame, I'mma let it blow/
But you don't know what I'm saying's what I'm headed for/
A quick blast to the brain and I'mma let it go/
And sometimes I don't want work it out/
There's too much in life that's gonna let me down/
It's not a game when you're really drowning/
And this 1st person is ready for the crowning/

Verse 1

Since the last time we spoke, I met my father and had a
daughter/ I named her Peyton in honor of Patrick Allen Orchard/
I've been through 3 to 4 jobs, 3 different cars/ lived in a
motel with my mother, can't erase these metal scars/ I asked
for loans and favors I can't reciprocate/ contemplated relocating
to a different state/ attempting to run from all my problems instead
of manning up/ in all honesty I felt like I wasn't man enough/
felt like I can't adjust. Felt like the man above-/ was testing
me more than any other person his hands have touched/ I've always
asked for your guidance along with God's/ hoping that it wasn't
all a facade, I hope I have your attention/ it's not my intention
to question His blessings/ I'm just trying to make sense of His lessons
without second-guessing/ I'm just trying to stay sane, bought a pistol
for my protection/ but honestly I'm afraid I'mma use it for my depression/

Chorus (Tony P.)

For all the stress and pain I done settled for/
Like skip all of the fame, I'mma let it blow/
But you don't know what I'm saying's what I'm headed for/
A quick blast to the brain and I'mma let it go/
And sometimes I don't want work it out/
There's too much in life that's gonna let me down/
It's not a game when you're really drowning/
And this 1st person is ready for the crowning/

Verse 2

Since the last time we spoke, I lost my father and had a daughter/
wanted her last name to be Dillinger instead of Orchard/ but neither
happened, it ended up Jackson/ thought I should give up the rapping
and go take some classes, to increase her future chances/ of her
becoming a lawyer or doctor or something successful/ because boy
I'm about to abort this vessel/ I'm tired of a life where I work
and then go to sleep/ and then wake up and go to work, and can barely
afford to eat/ struggle to pay the bills and have money left for my baby/
her mother's calling me lazy, and no one bothers to thank me/ call me
crazy when I say I'm suicidal on the daily/ told me to, "Do it already,
and make sure your aim is steady."/ best believe I'm more than ready,
don't worry about a thing/ because when your heart is heavy, it's
weighing down on your brain/ all the pressure of chasing fame
is wearing down my health/ but they'll never call me King until I Crown myself/

Chorus (Tony P.)

For all the stress and pain I done settled for/
Like skip all of the fame, I'mma let it blow/
But you don't know what I'm saying's what I'm headed for/
A quick blast to the brain and I'mma let it go/
And sometimes I don't want work it out/
There's too much in life that's gonna let me down/
It's not a game when you're really drowning/
And this 1st person is ready for the crowning/

Verse 3

Since the last time we spoke, I became a father I love my daughter/
but when I'm gone I hope she doesn't think I didn't want her/ I sought
the care of a therapist, just to spare the embarrassment/ who prescribed
me this medication, impaired my awareness/ with a loss of libido. Feel I
could paint a cathedral/ because I got plenty of pigment, but lost my
canvas and easel/ no I'm not planning to leave you but I can't stand that
these people-/ managed to banish my happiness and rebrand it as evil/ I'm
tired of being told I'm wrong/ it's just that all my hope is gone and so
I wrote this song/ in hopes that somebody notices my emotions imploded/
and that this self-termination is just the route that I've chosen/ unless
you convince me otherwise/ mama told me it's my fault if that's the way
she chose to die/ so just close your eyes, ignore the bang/
nothing's going to change, I'll always love you, I won't feel a thing/ I hope..

Chorus (Tony P.)

For all the stress and pain I done settled for/
Like skip all of the fame, I'mma let it blow/
But you don't know what I'm saying's what I'm headed for/
A quick blast to the brain and I'mma let it go/
And sometimes I don't want work it out/
There's too much in life that's gonna let me down/
It's not a game when you're really drowning/
And this 1st person is ready for the crowning/